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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Tastes of Marriage

          Mayonnaise.  It's hard to believe that I "had" to give that up.  Especially considering I do not like salad dressing fake mayo in the least.  But I did, and somehow I am managing to survive with that salad dressing fake stuff.  Mostly by avoiding the making of foods which call for it.  ;)  
          A lot of things in life change when one gets married.  The biggest and most notable is the customary leaving of family and home to begin a new life with someone who may very well turn out to be more of a stranger than one might realize.  There are quite a few little differences which exhibit themselves after marriage, many of which are quite unforeseen in the hustle and bustle activity of the "Big Picture".  Like differences in the sense of taste.  My husband likes that fake mayo and despises the real, and also preferred margarine over butter.  I, on the other hand, held the opposite view, though I despised margarine more than fake mayo.  Neither one of us being the extravagant type who might just get all four and let each do as he pleased, there were compromises which had to be made.  Thus, in our fridge may be found that fake mayo stuff, and real butter.  We also found out that I really like pork and don't care so much for chicken, while he doesn't care for pork and much prefers chicken.  In the interests of us both, I strive my hardest to make meals which are flavorful and juicy, the lack of which is our main compliant against the respective meats, thanks to memories of our respective upbringings.  
           Such is it with many aspects which are involved with living with a person.  He is more of a second shifter, I am a first; he is content with the indoors and his PC, I prefer the outdoors and activity; I grew up with pets and desperately want some, he didn't and does not like the idea of hair all over the place; he likes it cooler, I like it warmer; I consider exercise/working out something people do because they think they are fat, he considers it a good way to stay in shape and keep himself at peak performance physically...  The list could go on, and on, and on.  Such are the little things which are not often thought of during dating, most likely because they are rarely encountered.  Dating is doing things which are common to both parties, and in doing so getting to know one another.  Yes, differences are made known in this process, but they have little to no practical bearing on the relationship at this stage.  In marriage, boy, do they come out like fireworks!  
          What to do?  When these little unforeseen differences seem to be all that is apparent, relationships can rip themselves apart.  To go from seeing each other primarily out doing fun stuff, to seeing each other in the hum-drum of everyday life can be quite a shock.  Add to that the differences seemingly boldly staring one in the face, and things can get nasty rather quickly.  But do not despair!  There is hope, and it lies in Compromise.  Now, compromising is not easy - it takes great humility and extreme amounts of selflessness.  It means letting go of things one really wants for the sake of the other, and is then reciprocated.  People may think it harder to compromise on big things, but I have found it to be the case that the little things are more dear to us, and thus prove to be more difficult to compromise on.  One gives up many aspirations when one enters the married state quite happily enough, but imagine having to go without half one's wardrobe (though most of it isn't worn anyway) and things can get testy!
          Mayo; I do miss it, but I got the butter in return so it isn't all that bad.  And that fake mayo stuff is kinda growing on me a bit...but not by much.  By now, I hope it is obvious that I didn't "have" to give anything up at all, but that I chose to for the sake of a better relationship with my husband.  And, though my burgers may be drier, and my tuna taste funny, it was totally worth it.  :)

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