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Little Mama Milestones

          So this post is dedicated to the little milestones in a first-time-mom's life.  You know, the ones where you can spend the day not in bed and not end up with a fever by supper.  Or when that little run in with mastitis is gone, only to be replaced by a tiny turn with thrush.  Okay, so maybe not everyone encounters those.  But there ought to be small celebrations for spending the day outside of the bedroom; for no longer feeling like you've been run over by a truck.  (Giving birth for the first time is a full body experience, let me tell you.)  The day nursing actually doesn't hurt anymore.  Your first little outing as a family - for us it was to mass - and the baby doesn't scream bloody murder or want to be fed.  The first large gathering where everyone gets to meet the new arrival.  The first trip out, just baby and me.  Being able to vacuum and do dishes without Daddy being home.  I would probably be able to add laundry to that list if we had a washer here -

Ten Minute Tuesdays: Beached Whales Debunked

          Once again, it is Tuesday, and that means you get to read my ramblings for a whole ten minutes!  Not that it will really take that long to read, unless it does, I've never timed it before.  Anyway, I was thinking yesterday, while trying to roll myself up and off the couch, that the phrase "like a beached whale" is inappropriate.  Why?  Because it is inaccurate.  Granted, I suppose, it is hyperbole so perhaps I shouldn't be so harsh.  But it is inaccurate.   Whales, when beached, have a tendency to kinda just flap their flippers and tail for a while, then expire, unless a group of kind-hearted people stumble across it in such a predicament and have the means to pull it back into the ocean from whence it came.  Not a lot of people can honestly say their experience is quite like that of the whale.  Some might be unable to do more than flail a bit while facing the possibility of expiring, I suppose, but I certainly am not one of those.  Rather, what came to my m

Nesting

          So I think the nesting bug has finally begun to bite a bit.  Unfortunately, the nesting fever seems to be exhibiting itself in the form of a great desire to bake and store food, which in other circumstances wouldn't be a bad thing.  For the present, though, the midwife would like me to stay away from processed foods and stuff as much as possible, focusing on proteins and fruits and veggies  until Jose arrives.  Such instructions are not compatible with muffins, shortcake, brownies, pancakes, french toast (oh how I love french toast!), etc.  *sigh*  You can probably guess what kind of food eating spree I'll go on after the birth!  Thankfully I have rationalized apple crisp as healthy, so I can somewhat satisfy the desire to bake.             In regards to the typical nesting, I finally have the diaper bag I wanted, so I can pack that in preparation for going to the birth center.  Trying to put the apartment in order will be a bit more of a challenge - it is hard to or

Ten Minute Tuesdays, Sort Of - Protest Against...

          So I am aware that it is no longer Tuesday, and thus I am late.  Sorry.  But things were a little busy for me yesterday.  Anyway, the whole Ten Minute Tuesday thing might not be a link up after all, as Rachel over at Testosterhome explains in her most recent post.  *sigh*  And I was looking forward to doing more communal bloggy type things.  But oh, well.  There is nothing to stop me from trying to keep up my own Ten Minute Tuesdays!  It might be a good thing for me to practice anyway, considering I'm not posting anything else, and maybe it will help me to be better at posting more things of "value".             Recently I found a youtube video of kids protesting Michelle Obama's healthy lunch policy .  I was impressed, and subsequently liked their Nutrition Nannies page on FB, to kind of keep up with the news in that area.   After sharing another post from them, I realized how exciting it is to stand up to those we do not believe are right, to protest au

Ten Minute Tuesdays Linkup

          So Rachel Balducci over at Testosterhome , a pretty amazing blog about life with lots of boys, has come up with this idea for a linkup called Ten Minute Tuesdays.  The idea is to take ten minutes and just write whatever thoughts pop into one's head, and then linkup somehow.  I'm not too sure about how to do the whole linky-uppy thing, but I figured I would give this one a try.  Perhaps I'll get better at posting things more often.  Anyway, here goes, and I hope slightly premeditated ten minute spewing still counts.           Today is a typical rainy day, as in rain all day kind of rainy day.  It started out looking pretty awesome out there, all blustery and rainy and stormy, but has now basically calmed down to rain in spite of  the tornado, hail, and basic destruction warning.  It is a good day to just relax inside, snuggle up on the couch with a warm nummy drink and chill.  I was actually kinda happy to see the weather this morning - there is something about t

Carthago Delenda Est

           It may be noted as not irrelevant here that certain anti-human antagonisms seem to recur in this tradition of black magic. There may be suspected as running through it everywhere, for instance, a mystical hatred of childhood. People would understand better the popular fury against the witches, if the remembered that the malice most commonly attributed to them was preventing the birth of children. The Hebrew prophets were perpetually protesting against the Hebrew race relapsing into an idolatry that involved such a war on children; and it is probable enough that this abominable apostasy from the God of Israel has occasionally appeared in Israel since, in the form of what is called ritual murder; not of course by any representative of the religion of Judaism, but by individual and irresponsible diabolists who did happen to be Jews. This sense that the forces of evil especially threaten childhood is found again in the enormous popularity of the Child Martyr of the Middle Ages.

Calorie Counting

          So, with only 8 weeks til D-Day, it turns out that I am under-size.  In the past month, though the numbers on the scale have gone up, then inches of my tummy have only increased by 1.  Apparently not a sufficient number, and now I have to keep a food log for this week to see if I can increase my caloric intake.  And I'm not so sure it is working.  Yes, I am eating more, which is good, but the most calories I've been able to calculate is around 1500, which is an appallingly small number, considering I've been eating 8 times a day, and I can't imagine how few I was eating before actually making the effort to remind myself and force myself to eat more often.  Granted, the 1500 is not taking into consideration the caloric count of supper, mostly because I decided that math was too difficult for me to try and figure out, but still.  My best day was Friday at 1856, which included pizza and a milkshake (though I had to guess the calories for both of them, and may hav

One Year

          Wow.  It has been a whole year since I took the Mister as my husband, and he took me as his wife.  And we have come such a long way since that day.  The first six months were hard, due in part to what we didn't even realize were unrealistic expectations; little hopes, dreams, and promises that could have been fulfilled but the effort they needed wasn't taken; failures in communication in regards to the disappointment of the aforementioned, or the unexpressed desire for new things to do.  Adjusting was hard, there is no doubt about it.  Even if you do marry your best friend and think you know a ton about them, there is going to be a bit of a learning curve when you move in with them.  Sure, you learned a lot about them when you were dating, but now you have to learn how to live with them.  You will see more of who they are in a week living with them than you have with however much time you spent dating.  How goofy, silly, serious, weak, strong they really are.  And it

The First Time

          So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created them.  And God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth."   Genesis, 1:27-28 RSV           I found myself wondering the other day what it might have been like to be Eve.  You know, to be the first woman ever, and therefore be the first woman to ever experience pregnancy.  I'm sure she and Adam were aware of how babies came to be, especially before The Fall when they had all that super-knowledge and everything, but there certainly is a difference between knowing intellectually and actually experiencing something.  Eve didn't have a mom or friends to give her advice and tell her the general things to expect.  After The Fall, she lost her super-knowledge and was left in the dark regarding the workings of her body

Necesse Est...

          I need to run.  Badly.  It happens when I get stressed, worried, have something on my mind.  I feel the tenseness almost to the core of my being, my muscles itching and burning for a release.  Running.  It is a need to run until I can't run anymore, until my mind and body are clear again.  Running prevents a minor emotional breakdown which would leave me feeling slightly better emotionally, but physically sick and tired.  I need to run, and badly.  But my pregnant body cannot physically handle it anymore.  To run as I wish to run would leave me hobbling, eventually incapacitating my ability to move at all.  Would that I could go for a run!           Today hasn't turned out quite the way I had thought it would.  I had a decent amount of things I had hoped to do today, and maybe a quarter of them got done.  It's not the end of the world, I know, but sometimes it feels like it.  And I'm beginning to worry and stress about this whole having a baby thing, as in ab

10 Weeks

          So there are 10 weeks left (9 weeks, 6 days to be exact, but who's counting?) until Jose's due date.  Granted, I know the chances of him arriving precisely on that day are slim, but it is still a point to look toward nonetheless.  I hear "mommy brain" isn't much better than "pregnancy brain" but the total cluelessness and forgetfulness must eventually get better, 'cause moms sure do end up remembering a lot of stuff - play dates, soccer games, etc.  At the moment I'll settle for not feeling like a puppy out on a windy day.  Sniffing along some trail here, hearing a noise and having to investigate there, finding a new trail to follow, seeing some leaves blow then having to chase them, and never finding out where that first trail leads.  Honestly, the other day I forgot to take my second iron dose three times, after reminding myself of it four times.  Yeah.  Forgetting what I had just decided while over by the bedroom in the 10 steps it t

On Tragedies and Idiotic Responses (L-o-n-g Rant Warning)

Originally written 7/20/12           So I get up this morning, and proceed on my normal routine of eating breakfast and checking the only 3 things I basically ever look at online (email, FB, Blogger) and see a mention in my FB newsfeed about a shooting at the premier of Batman in Colorado.  Of course, this link is a bit lacking in details, so I Google it, and read like 6 different reports on the incident, all of which contain the same basics of the incident as known at the time.  My prayers go out to those in Aurora and elsewhere who are experiencing pain and loss as a result of the shooting.  As I read the heart-wrenching details of blood and gore, fear and confusion, my compassion for the victims became mixed with indignation at the manner with which some details were reported and the reactions of those who spoke out in reference to the tragedy.             Now, I do realize that in pretty much every age such tragedies are more often than not seized upon by some one or other for s

The Necessity of Life

          I have decided that life is a necessity for my well-being.  I thrive when surrounded by that which is living, be it plant, animal, or human.  I need  the companionship of living beings.  I have only begun to realize this somewhat recently, as I began to seriously analyze the depression that customarily hits me whenever the Martian and I come back from some social activity or visiting.  Said depression would usually exhibit itself in the form of agitation and discontent with my current situation and a longing to be elsewhere, pretty much anywhere but here.  I had known that much of this was the result of the drastic changes usually associated with coming home after a great time, namely coming from a fun and active time and arriving home to a boring and listless environment.  But it is more than that.  It is the isolation and the deadness of being home that weighs heavily on my soul.  Thankfully, we now have Michael , and he really helps to liven up the atmosphere, but only fai

Look, I'm Just Pregnant

          So, I write this at a time where I am beginning to realize that I'm going to be needing a little help, from now until who knows when.  Yesterday I had to make two trips to the car in order to go do laundry (I usually carry both baskets at the same time; not anymore.), and today I was tired by the time I got to the checkout at the grocery store, and still had the not-usually-daunting task of bringing in the groceries and putting them away.  Needless to say, I'm kinda on the exhausted side at the moment.  I'm beginning to reach the point where I will (read that as need only to prevent something bad from happening) ask for help with things, and even quite contentedly let others volunteer their services.  But only because I know I can't do it myself.  Yeah, I'm foolish and proud like that.           Up until this point, though, it really irked me when people would tell me that I shouldn't be doing x , y , or z  because I am expecting, as though I am some

Cravings

          I have, for the most part, lost track of time in regards to my pregnancy.  In the beginning, it was easier for me to keep track of weeks rather than months so I just dismissed the months.  (I'm not so great at figuring out x weeks = x months; therefore months = unnecessary knowledge - except when speaking to the general public who have no concept of how many weeks a pregnancy generally lasts.)  But recently I have lost track of the weeks as well, and mostly just remember that October really isn't all that far away anymore, something for which I am glad, and yet a bit melancholic about at the same time.  While on his lunch break today the Martian pointed out that we have less than three months until J.B.'s due date, 10/7/12.  Time sure does fly!           I had decided quite a while ago that I was not going to have cravings while pregnant, I simply would not allow them.  And I seem to be succeeding thus far, to my great pleasure.  The only kind of cravings I see

Nicknames

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Went through an equine phase, some of which turned out pretty well.           Nicknames can be a wonderful part of life, a symbol of the affection one person has for another, albeit ofttimes a bit teasingly.  My first one came from my brother and his inability to pronounce "Jennifer" when he was young, so for a while I was "Fuffer".  Kinda cute, no?  Dad is the only one who still uses it, mostly in it's shortened form "Fuff", though often he incorporates it into my name making "Jennifuffer".  I use "Fuff" to sign my artwork, but my skill is rather juvenile so you don't need to look out for it in the museums or art shows.   Tigger with Eeyore. Eeyore was always my favorite though.           In my high school years, once I came out of my depressed shell (I'll write about it someday), I acquired two more nicknames:  "Psycho" and "Tigger".  "Psycho" came from my first year of basketball,

Baby Chick Is A Boy, And Scheduling "Date Nights"

          So, for those who must be *dying* to know who is coming in October, here is your update.  Joseph Benedict will be welcomed into our arms in October!  The ultrasound was good, though I was a bit, um, stressed when we arrived because we were late, and there were dire warnings about the results of being late.  But it all turned out well in the end, though we still have no clue as to how adorable our boy is, because it turned out he was a bit camera shy.  And has no apparent clue about modesty, so the only (2) pictures we have are proof of his masculinity, but that is about it.  Hence no photographic evidence shall be posted.  I'm glad he is a boy - I have long thought that a boy as oldest would be, well, ideal.  There is something about a well-raised oldest boy, and his subsequent brothers, that makes for excellent men.  Plus it means I get to put off the dolls and princesses and "you be the mommy" and such that seem to accompany girls...  It is much more fun to pl

Omphaloskepsis = Navel Gazing

          I'm vaguely aware that I have heard the term "navel gazing" before, but more recently encountered it on one of the blogs I follow, though I can't remember which one.  It took a little while before the funniness of the phrase set in - I do it a lot!  Not because I am really all that self absorbed, but because my bellybutton is undergoing quite the change at the moment.  Actually, my whole belly is.  This whole pregnancy thing is rather new, foreign, and different for me.  I was too little to remember when Mum was expecting either of my siblings, so I haven't had much experience of it.  Anyway, watching my belly button slowly loose depth, and knowing it is eventually going to completely reverse itself is something else entirely.  I've always been and in-y, but soon enough I'm going to experience what it is like to be an out-y too.  I'm glad to see my belly getting bigger, and the number on the scale going up, too.  It means things are progressi

So, Are You Gonna Find Out?

          It seems that when one is expecting, especially with a first, one inevitable question is going to be "Are you going to find out what you're having?"  A reasonable question, in this day and age I suppose.  I personally have gone from "No" to "I wouldn't be opposed to knowing" to "I absolutely think it is a good idea to know."            Growing up, Mum always said that babies only come in two kinds, and don't you want to be surprised when the baby finally arrives?  Of course, there was always the "What if they are wrong?" factor that she also brought up, which made a really good argument for not having a baby shower until after  the baby is born - much less likely to have a bunch of girl clothes for your little boy to wear.  And yes, they can be wrong.  A couple of years ago (or maybe a few more) a cousin of mine was informed they were having a girl, and when the day came, weren't they surprised to find a littl

Horses

          I was young, the first time I decided to run away, somewhere not much older than 8, I don't think.  My siblings and I were going to meet at midnight, get our packed and hidden things out of my closet, and book it for the woods somewhere.  Now, this desire didn't stem from the unbearableness of our childhood at the time, but more from a sense of adventure.  We didn't get very far - I fell asleep in my closet waiting for my brother and sister, who themselves couldn't have been much older than 5 and 4, respectively.              The second time I was bound and determined to run away, I was somewhere around 13, and that time it was to show my parents.  I'm not sure what I was gonna be showing them, but I do remember the "that'll show 'em" feeling.  It was winter, and I was supposed to clean out the dog pen before the next day, or I wouldn't be allowed to do something, though I can't remember what, connected to my uncle/god father vis

But... I Can Do It Myself...

          So, the car is in need of an oil change, and since I'm the one who isn't terribly busy with like, work, during the day, it has fallen to me to find someplace to get it done.  Now, I'm not really looking forward to this because 1) it will involve talking to strangers about a service needed, 2) which quite possibly could lead to me looking ignorant and vulnerable, and most irksome, 3) changing the oil is something I am capable of doing myself.  For the most part, I try to avoid situations which involve 1 & 2 as much as I can - email works wonders for that, most of the time.  I just love the impersonalness of it; sure, I might still look the fool, but at least I can't prove it.  When email fails, the next best thing is to get as personal as we can, and actually talk in person.  Quite a jump, I know, and I totally forgot the phone, right?  Not really - it has been my experience that talking on the phone is less reliable than both email and meeting in person, f

Life

Right, let's see how bad I am at writing a short post...           It was one of those amazing days - bright, sunshiny, green, fresh - everything screamed life!  What an amazing day to be alive on!  Flowers, birds, hustle, bustle, everything.  And it struck me, just how amazing life is, qua life.  It honestly is eternal - it never ends!  Yes, individual things come and go, live then die, but life itself does not stop just because one living thing ceases to live.  Now, I've never really made a study of evolution, but from what I understand it is all about life, the perpetuation of the species.  So this particular being has died, but in a sense it is still living in its offspring, in the generations follow.  From a simply materialistic point of view, this is a pretty amazing concept.  But, add to it a bit of the supernatural, and this idea is overwhelming.  For those who believe in the eternal life of the soul, there never will be non-life.  While the simply-naturals will argu

Now Picture This...

           Alright, so my last post wasn't the most positive.  Considering it was written on the heels of a rather black mood, that makes sense.  Perhaps still a bit shocking from a person who understands what this whole pregnancy thing is all about, and is really quite glad that all this annoyance means that, God willing, I will have a baby to hold, love, etc., in October.  But, if a pro-lifer such as I, who wanted to conceive and is happy to be expecting, could wish that I didn't have to go through this, just imagine how horrible it is for someone who didn't and isn't:           Go back and read my Rant Against Pregnancy , and try and picture emotionally what I was kinda going through.  Got it?  Right, now let's add this to your plate - not only are you feeling slightly miserable physically, but you realize your period is kinda late.  Like, late in an "Oh, fudge, this can't really be..." kinda way.  So you take a test....results, positive.  Now, not

Now I've Done It: Rant Against...Pregnancy

          So Mother's Day is just around the corner, and this year I get to be one of the women celebrated.  A nice idea, except on Monday I had a slight emotional breakdown because of this stinkin' pregnancy thing.  Yes, I said it, and in a very real sense I mean it.  I am so done being pregnant, and yes, I am still less than halfway there.           It was all fun and exciting in the beginning, and I mean the very beginning, like the first month, maybe, that we knew.  But swearing ourselves to secrecy kinda killed much of the novelty and my excitement.  Add in morning sickness, and BAM!  First thoughts of "I sure as heck don't like this whole pregnancy thing, and it can totally be October now." (See My First 1st Trimester for some insight.)  Ugh.  Now that I'm not feeling sick, I'm freaking out because I'm not sure I'm eating enough (at 18 weeks I've barely gained any weight).  I'm beginning to look fat, am going to the beach in about a

Little Bit of Life in General

          Well, the house we were interested in already had an offer which the seller accepted, so we weren't able to even look at it.  Which is probably a really good thing, lest we got our (read:  my) hopes up too much, only to be severely and horridly crushed against the solid cliffs of reality.  *sigh*  But it was entertaining while it lasted, and more than likely there will be something better in the future.  Hopefully before Baby Chick makes a grand entrance into the world, and my laundry needs explode exponentially.  :)           My in-laws are in town for a visit this week, the second time the whole family has been together since October, and it is quite nice to be spending time with them.  Nothing reminds me how much I enjoy family life more than spending time with family.  Yes, I have a huge streak of "I could totally be a hermit and live in the middle of nowhere, completely independent (almost) of the outside world", but the path I chose is much better for me

House Hunting Envy

          So there are about 4 of us married couples here who are basically just starting out in our "grown-up lives".  It's been nice, being able to hang out with other young married people, all of whom have been married for 2 years or fewer and just beginning to grow their families.  Most of us wives have been dreaming of houses for a while now, though our searches have been mostly futile, half of us not being in a position to actually buy, and the other half unable to find something which both husband and wife agree upon.             That is, up until about a week ago.  Both the couples who were in a spot to buy a house actually found ones they liked, and made offers on:  one was accepted, and the other is waiting for the owner's approval!  Basically all in the same week!  Crazy, but awesome at the same time.  Except it leaves me feeling like we need one too, and why is it we can't have one again?  Oh, yeah, we don't have the money.  Sometimes it is diffic

Those Pesky Emotions!

         Yesterday was, overall, a rather physically good day.  Unfortunately, my emotions decided that they were just going to run amok from the get-go, and did their best to ruin things.  There were brief moments when they seemed to be succeeding, but in the end, happiness won out and I went to bed feeling much happier than I had when I got out of it.             Waking up crying is most certainly on my list of things not to do, and when one is as good at controlling (read:  bottling) their emotions as I once was, barely-awake tears are rather disconcerting.  Fortunately there weren't too many of them, so I ended up wandering the grocery store in search of ingredients for dinner in a melancholy fog, rather than a melancholy rain.  I managed to do alright throwing supper together (bbq chicken in the crock-pot) and somehow made it to the the lunch meal.  At the end of which I then proceeded to let loose such a flow of unwarranted waterworks it was almost shameful.  Of course, anyt

The Passion of the Christ

His the doom Ours the mirth when He came down to earth Flower of Jesse's tree born on earth to save us Him the Father gave us. Taken from a song I know as Cantus , which is actually more of a Christmas carol,  but I find it to be fitting insofar as it addresses the ultimate purpose of Christ's birth.           Such was running through my mind as we watched The Passion of the Christ .  There were quite a few things that struck me, though unfortunately most of them are forgotten now.  A few things were given a deeper meaning, thanks to the Lenten bible studies some friends of ours hosted - such as how the 30 pieces of silver was the price of a slave who was impaled; and how the teachings of Christ were really, truly radical in his time, that His listeners had never heard anything like it before.  For our part, we grow up knowing the story, even if we are not all Christians ourselves, but everyone  knows the story of Jesus, everyone  knows what His most basic te