Monday, May 14, 2012

Now Picture This...

           Alright, so my last post wasn't the most positive.  Considering it was written on the heels of a rather black mood, that makes sense.  Perhaps still a bit shocking from a person who understands what this whole pregnancy thing is all about, and is really quite glad that all this annoyance means that, God willing, I will have a baby to hold, love, etc., in October.  But, if a pro-lifer such as I, who wanted to conceive and is happy to be expecting, could wish that I didn't have to go through this, just imagine how horrible it is for someone who didn't and isn't:
          Go back and read my Rant Against Pregnancy, and try and picture emotionally what I was kinda going through.  Got it?  Right, now let's add this to your plate - not only are you feeling slightly miserable physically, but you realize your period is kinda late.  Like, late in an "Oh, fudge, this can't really be..." kinda way.  So you take a test....results, positive.  Now, not only are you feeling like junk physically, but your psychological and emotional states are beginning to crumble.  Maybe you thought you were "protected", maybe you thought you were just immune - I mean, it hasn't happened before, right?  This so cannot be real.  
          What is your b.f. gonna say?  You haven't ever discussed this before, but you kinda have the feeling he won't be pleased, and there is a chance he will leave you, with the attitude of "It's your problem, you can deal with it.  Obviously something you did/didn't do went wrong".  The first doubts begin to enter your mind, brought on by the fear of judgement and rejection.  "It's all my fault...he's gonna leave me...I can't do this!"
          "My parents!"  At this thought, new panic begins to enter your mind.  "How will I ever tell them?"  You already know their position on unwed pregnancy, and those "little sluts who can't keep their legs closed."  Or perhaps your parents are more the type who started you on birth control when you were a teen, to prevent this sort of thing from happening - either way, you've gone and failed them, too.  Will they kick you out, disown you?  Where would you go?  
          Thoughts of judgement and rejection fill you with panic, you are emotionally a mess, and physically feel like junk.  You can't think straight, and feel like you have no where to turn - who can you trust?  All those close to you seem as sources of judgment and rejection, pain and loneliness.  You just want to make this go away, to have things as they were, to restore equilibrium.  There is a pro-life crisis pregnancy center in town, but you know how those pro-lifers are, all concerned about saving babies, and not so much concerned with the women who are carrying them.  To them, it is the baby who is in a crisis situation, and they couldn't possible hear or understand what you are going through, or how you are feeling.  Mentioning to them how you just want a way to make things right again, to make this go away, might as well be like telling a P.E.T.A. representative that you enjoy beating and drowning puppies and kittens for fun.  
          Maybe you've never really given much thought to abortion before, but then again, you've never really been in a situation like this before.  But you have heard that the people over at the clinic actually listen to the women who come to them, and want to help them.  You have heard that they will focus on you, and what your needs are here and now.  You know abortion ends pregnancy, which means your physical symptoms will go away too, and after spending so much time feeling sick, that is quite an appealing thought.  Your b.f. and parents will never even have to know about that test you took...everything will stay as it is.  
          Perhaps you believe that all abortion is doing is removing a bunch of cells; perhaps you believe that abortion ends a potential life; perhaps you believe that it actually kills a baby.  But you can't do this pregnancy thing on your own - everywhere you look, you find rejection and judgment, everywhere but the clinic.  You are so emotionally, physically, and psychologically drained, that you simply can not process rationally what is going on.  All you know is you are alone, and the only seeming light of hope is the abortion clinic.  So you go, and don't tell anyone.  
(If you think I'm exaggerating this, go and read the testimonials at  I dare you.)

          Many women contemplating abortion are in a similar situation to the one I described.  It is hard to try and put ourselves in their shoes, especially when we "know" so well that abortion is wrong, evil, etc.  But unless we can understand what is motivating these women to flock to abortion as an answer, we are never going to win the war against abortion.  To tell a woman in such a situation that she will be a murderer if she has an abortion only serves to add to her feelings of rejection and being judged, and does nothing to help her see that it isn't the only option.  Forgetting the women in our desire to save babies actually hurts and sends more to their deaths than it actually saves.  Yes, abortion is an evil that needs to disappear, but if we do not have the support in our hearts and communities that these women need, they will always turn to abortion.  Not only do we need to support women in crisis pregnancies, but also those who have chosen abortion as their way out.  Condemning and judging them in no way helps them heal, and only adds to the guilt and pain many are afraid to admit resulted from their decision to terminate their pregnancy.  We cannot possibly hope to change minds and hearts if we do not seek to understand where the other is coming from.  The most effective slogans against abortion are "Abortion hurts women" and "Abortion ruins lives" rather than "Abortion kills babies" and "If it's not a baby, you're not pregnant". 

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