Monday, August 6, 2012

Necesse Est...

          I need to run.  Badly.  It happens when I get stressed, worried, have something on my mind.  I feel the tenseness almost to the core of my being, my muscles itching and burning for a release.  Running.  It is a need to run until I can't run anymore, until my mind and body are clear again.  Running prevents a minor emotional breakdown which would leave me feeling slightly better emotionally, but physically sick and tired.  I need to run, and badly.  But my pregnant body cannot physically handle it anymore.  To run as I wish to run would leave me hobbling, eventually incapacitating my ability to move at all.  Would that I could go for a run!
          Today hasn't turned out quite the way I had thought it would.  I had a decent amount of things I had hoped to do today, and maybe a quarter of them got done.  It's not the end of the world, I know, but sometimes it feels like it.  And I'm beginning to worry and stress about this whole having a baby thing, as in about two months I will be giving birth and will have a baby to take care of.  Kind of an overwhelming thought right now.  I'm not that worried about the actual labor itself, but more about the after part.  The part where your sore, and hormones are all out of whack, and life is so completely different than it was before.  I can't do this; I'm not ready.  9 weeks.  6-ish weeks until we have to start paying attention for signs of labor. I am not ready for this whole new level of being a grown up.  Oh how I wish I could go for a run right now!

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