Today has been a day. You know, the kind where you really only want to drink yourself into oblivion, and it isn't even 10 o'clock yet. So I sit here, beer bottle of water in hand (no, not sarcasm about beer quality - actual water - story for another day), and I know why it is many, many women don't want to be stay at home moms, and it really doesn't have anything to do with selfish, career driven ambitions. It's because of the loneliness. Now, I'm going to make some general assertions about people, knowing full well that, as such, they do not apply to everyone.
In general, women are extremely social. They just need to be able to talk and connect with people. I never really knew just how much I need to do such, until I became the stay at home mom who didn't have access to a car everyday. And now, it seems, I am going out of my mind, for lack of meaningful conversation. Yes, having José around helps some, and really, he is quite a good talker, but it leaves something to be desired as far as quality of content goes. Yes, Code Monkey does provide rather good conversation, but he's gone most of the day. I guess that is what I really miss about being back home. Especially after being blessed to spend a year there between college and marriage, since we were all of an age where actual, good conversation could be held. I miss the connection to people I knew, and who also knew me.
I am becoming more and more convinced, that our current living situations as first world people are, well, artificial. And isolating. And suffocating. It is no wonder that social media sites are so wildly popular. Most days they are our only connection to people who give coherent responses and help us feel heard in the doldrums of a normal day. I understand how it is many women can come to the conclusion that they could never quit work to stay home with their kids, because it is mind numbing, the loneliness. The days full of complete and utter boredom and inability to get anything which feels meaningful and productive done. It is so hard to see, through glaze eyes, just how important doing seemingly nothing really is.