Only A Mere Woman

     After my last post, Into Temptation , a friend mentioned how we need to be careful to not let our weaknesses and failings depress us. He's right; while weak is not a place which ought to be sought out, it also shouldn't cause us inordinate pain to realize and acknowledge our weaknesses. Unfortunately, though, sometimes it does. Even more unfortunately, the way our society mocks and belittles those who are "weak" or "failures" is often a huge stumbling block for those who really do need help, whose issues at whatever time in their life are just too much for them to bear alone. All too often, people are met with "Toughen up! Quit being such a pansy! Just grow up, will you?", when what they really need to hear is "How can I help? Is there anything I can do?", or, even better "It's okay. I understand." What's more, I think, is people need to hear the stories of others who have made it through, who have been able to face...

     I am terribly afraid of being perceived of as weak. I know I'm not alone in this, and I dare say that at the very least I am joined by the vast majority of the male population, who also suffer from this anxiety. While it seems like this is just part of the Human Condition, I think we Americans are almost proud of how driven we are by our fear of being perceived of as weak. After all, only the strong survive and thrive, right? And if fear of weakness helps you get there, then by golly, why not use it to full advantage? That's all fine and dandy, until you stop to consider all the things you did, in spite of not wanting to or liking it, simply because you were teased for wanting to quit? Because you didn't want to be called a loser, a quitter, weak? Ponder those things for a moment. Are you really stronger and better for having done them, or are you more bitter, angry, or disgruntled because you let peer pressure keep you from staying true to yourself and what you actu...

     So, today I was going to blog about all the recent hoopla regarding Pope Francis, but sort of got myself into hot water with my brother regarding a comment I made on a Facebook post I was tagged in, and have decided that now would be perhaps the right time to discuss my feelings on this subject. Since we only have 2 boys right now, my friend thought I would appreciate this blog post in the form of an open letter to the ladies who were offering this woman condolences for expecting yet another boy, when she already had one. I read it, and commented on the FB post "I'm thinking, just from past experience, my reply to comments like that will not be very feminist and favorable... I will be quite thrilled if we never have a girl." My brother saw it, and called me out via text message, correctly condemning my harshness and questioning what I would do if I did indeed have a girl, and she found out I never wanted her. While I never meant it to sound like I would never want t...

     I have always liked winter. I like the cold. I like the snow (yeah, I even sort of like the shoveling). I used to go for walks, long walks, in the neighbors across the street's woods, well, any time of the year, but it was particularly special in the winter time. The snow was beautiful, and the silence was incredible. So very peaceful, and the perfect way to re-ground myself.       It snowed here on Tuesday, and reminds me very much of home, particularly with the frigid temperatures we've had since. Only now, instead of just myself, I have two littles that need to be dressed up in snow gear if we want to go outside, which Jose was very much excited to do, and it took a half an hour  to get us all bundled up and out the door. 30 whole minutes . Thankfully they are both still in diapers, and I can get myself ready last, because after that I'm sure someone would have had to go potty before we even got outside. It was a fun time in the end, thou...

     I'm not one to usually make New Year's resolutions, but this year my deciding that things need to be worked on happened to coincide with the ending of the year. For accountability and because this is one of the easiest ways to keep them where I can find them, I'm sharing them with you. In no particular order, except for the first one.  1. Not Die - During our semester in Rome, I decided to come up with a "Things Not To Do" list, and the first and most important one of those was Not Die. I think it is good to have at least one resolution at which there is practically no chance of failing. Keep it simple.  2. Speak the Truth in Love - This applies to "I love you, and you really shouldn't be allowing XXX into your mind because it's bad for you" type of fraternal correction, but even more importantly for me it applies to what I let and lead others to think about me. I have a very difficult time speaking up for myself when someone is being re...

          I know I just published that " Intellectual Loneliness " post, but I can't help it. I need to write. And not in depth on any particular thing, while touching on subjects I do want to write more on later. Like this book, "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. I am pretty much finished with it, but even when I was only a few chapters in, I decided ** EVERYONE ** needs to read it. Really. It will change how you look at people, and hopefully how you treat people, in addition to teaching you tools to help you stay alive. Go get it, like right now.          Just the babysitter. I've been feeling a lot like that lately. On the bad days, I just keep waiting for the Mom to come home, but she never does. On the good days, I'm the fun babysitter that every kid is sad to say goodbye to.            We have a cat, sort of. I think she belongs to a neighbor somewhere, but for the past week, almost, she has decid...

     Today has been a day. You know, the kind where you really only want to drink yourself into oblivion, and it isn't even 10 o'clock yet. So I sit here, beer bottle of water in hand (no, not sarcasm about beer quality - actual water - story for another day), and I know why it is many, many women don't want to be stay at home moms, and it really doesn't have anything to do with selfish, career driven ambitions. It's because of the loneliness. Now, I'm going to make some general assertions about people, knowing full well that, as such, they do not apply to everyone.       In general, women are extremely social. They just need to be able to talk and connect with people. I never really knew just how much I need to do such, until I became the stay at home mom who didn't have access to a car everyday. And now, it seems, I am going out of my mind, for lack of meaningful conversation. Yes, having  José around helps some, and really, he is qui...